Whispers On The Wind...

CONGRATULATIONS!
You found the HIDDEN (or preview) area...

-BY DARKNESS-
By: Lance HaunRogue

Doubt resides by darkness, like a ghost within my heart...
Like the ripples in an endless sea, these waves of pain kept us apart...
Now I am seeing things more clearly than I ever have before...
There is a reason and a time, for everything I'm sure...

In the early minutes of morning, before the sun will rise...
I listen to the silent world and hear your heart, a beat in time with mine...
I trust that I know how to love you, I believe in what I feel...
Before the end of time, I know we will find our way to what is real...

Sleepless are the nights; tortured moments spent alone...
Cold without the touch of love, that I have been so blessed to know...
I pass pictures of our world, like a hallway through our lives...
I cling to these and shed the tears that escape my weary eyes...

Ever present in my life, like an angel's touch unto my skin...
Like the wind that beats against my door, begging me to breathe you in...
I believe in this so dearly, and I know that you're the one...
To right the wrongs that I must face, in the brilliance of the sun...

•

-IF I COULD-
By: Lance HaunRogue

All those times that you tried to hold me, I would hold you oh so tight...
All those evenings when you asked me to stay, I would love you through the night...
All those mornings that I had to leave, I would kiss you long and stroke your hair...
All those little stolen moments when I should have shown you how I cared...

I would change these things for you, if I could go back in time.
I would change these things for you, and somehow set it right.

All those lonely, lonely nights you spent, when I chose to set you free...
All those things that I once said, were the words of a coward and not me...
All those places we should have gone, I would be sure to take you now...
All those emotions that I should have shared, I will make you feel somehow...

I would change these things for you, if I could go back in time.
I would change these things for you, and somehow set it right.

All those kisses, all those tears, all those hopes and all those fears.

I want to hold you in my arms, I want to feel you in my reach...
I want to kiss your lips goodnight, I want to be the air you breathe...
I want to sing you in my songs, I want to paint the beauty of you naked...
I want to share my life with you, I want to have you in my bed...

All those times that you tried to hold me, I would hold you oh so tight...
All those evenings when you asked me to stay, I would love you through the night...
All those mornings that I had to leave, I would kiss you long and stroke your hair...
All those little stolen moments when I should have shown you how I cared...

I would change these things for you, if I could go back in time.
I would change these things for you, and somehow set it right.

If I could... I would be a better man...
If I could... Have that chance again...

•

-BROKEN GLASS-
By: Lance HaunRogue

In the corner, there beside the wall...
There is a shard of glass that somehow lived through my rage... Just like you.

I have found that I can't piece together the past...
I know that no amount of regret or longing will erase this page... From the book of my life.

Beside the bed there is a note you left me, with a lipstick stain... Do you remember what it said?
A dream I think is what it said... Waking from a dream...

I think that I have caused some form of chaos in every step that I have taken on my way to where I stand...
I never meant for any of this, my dreams were all so simple... Just like everyone I suppose...
Why did they have to let me miss the boat to you?

On the subject of you and I, that seems to consume me far more than any other mistake I've made...
You were special, you were what I needed most, and I pushed all of that away...
Now it seems so hard to convince you of my sincerity,
but I could never be more truthful when I tell you that I love you like no other I have known...

In the corner, there beside the door...
There is a shard of what was once my fear, it was my mask, my shield against a heart of glass...

I used it to hide the pain, to escape the fear, to protect myself from another set of tears...
But that was wrong...
Wrong because it does no good, to deny yourself the good, just to somehow avoid the bad...
It seems that it all is wrong if that is the path you chose...

So, I no longer have defenses, I have no safety net...
I am awkward in this newly-found skin of mine... I was here as a child, I remember a time...
My Father took the first layer of that skin as he walked out my door...
I remained innocent in bliss, and dreamed my dreams with love and comfort at my side, until the day she died...
Another layer skinned... Another tear I've cried...

I gave in to what I thought was real, forever was the word, and I think I knew some peace,
until another lover's bed turned my truth into a lie, and I finally gave in... More like caving in...

I was strong... Cynical and cool... I was no longer blind to bliss, no longer such a fool...
I was perfect in my shell... Perfect in my hell.

Why does an angel always come to save what is somehow so destroyed?
You were my light, you were my hope, and I should have followed you and never looked back at all...
We would be happier today...

Chipping away at the shell... Reliving all my hell...
I have lost all that has ever come my way before today, because it turned it's back on me...
Why then, when something wonderful has given itself so selflessly to be mine, did I have to turn and run?
You came to soon I suppose... I wasn't ready to let you in...

But I did... You got in... How deeply I wasn't aware.
Until you found another way...

In the corner there, behind the bed...
There is the child of my soul, he is scared and afraid of this; what I must do...
He is hiding like I knew he would, because he is the demon,
he is the mighty beast that has screamed all his rage with my voice, turning every page, driving you away...
Giving me no choice...

Though he is no terrible monster after all...
Just a frightened little boy...

But I will not defend him this time... If you go, then I will go on loving you...
If you cannot hear the truth within these words, then I will live with the satisfaction that they were said and heard...
I will know forever this was real... I will always know you were the one...

In the corner, there beside the wall...
There is a shard of glass that represents what I put you through...
There have been nights when I have cried to you, woken from nightmares and begging for your forgiveness,
and you were nowhere near... To hear...

This is where you lived for so long before, at my mercy when I was so cold...
It is terribly lonely... It is cruel...
For you never deserved to feel that way, I on the other hand... Well...

We both know where I stand... Guilt is mine forever this time... As it should be...

But I will wait... I know that time has more in store for you and I...
I can feel it in my soul, that I will never let you go...

I want no other woman, I can feel no other love...
I will remain unguarded and vulnerable, and ready to give you my entire heart... My entire life...
For I believe that you will be back, when you have gone where you have to go, and done all you feel you need to do...

You will see someday that beneath that protection around my heart there was a wonderful man
who let a frightened little boy scare you away...
Maybe on that day, I will kiss your lips again...

Maybe on that day I will prove to you, what a love this true can do...
And we will live our lives together, for better, for worse, with our children and our dreams,
creating love until we leave this place...

And whoever goes first will taste the lips of the other before our good-bye...
That will be the way that I will finally leave you... Not here, not now... Not like this...

I am taking you wherever it is that I'm to go now... Every step... Every breath...
I will hold you in my heart my love, I will take you in my arms, and I will kiss you every night, if only in my dreams...
And I will be the one who is loving you stronger than I love this life itself, no matter who you are with...

I shed this shell... I give up this hell...
I have such love to tell, and I will leave the fear here, in the past...

Like a shard of broken glass...

•

-THE VELVET ANGEL-
By: Lance HaunRogue

"Angel, come and rescue me..." This was my solemn prayer...
Take me from this doubt and pain, into the autumn air...
Amber were her wings of gold, a touch of emerald to her eyes...
Black velvet hair on porcelain skin, and lips that promised no demise...

She was the dream that I had seen, in my every search to find the truth...
She was the teacher that would mend my heart, from the nightmares of my youth...
And I believe I am her soul-mate, now that I see the false from what is real...
But true fear it feeds on hate and rage, denying all we long to feel...

So in denial I have closed my eyes, and added tension to my bow...
I have predicted this and known what's right, and yet, I let my arrow go...
The echoes rang, with screams of pain, I winged the dove as she took flight...
For I was a coward, standing at the door to love, without the key to get inside...

The clouds are passing overhead, and the arbor has grown dim...
This realm that holds us in it's grasp, has become a garden of my sin...
And the thorns are growing thicker, around the path to reach her soul...
But I feel the warmth within me now, and I can see which way to go...

I will lift her like a wounded bird, and I will take her to the gates...
I will cry for God to mend her heart, and in trade my soul to take...
I will surrender all this rage and pride, that only eats away at me...
And I will lay this fractured heart of mine, at her feet to be her key...

Because I love her like no other; her light inside it shines so bold...
The warmth that moves within her veins, has melted mine from all its cold...
And I have felt the beat of love again, beneath the flesh of my own chest...
For all the love she gave, my heart is hers in trade, as a payment for this debt...

I am dying now inside, but I feel much more alive, for I am free again at last...
Now I long to live without regret, and give without the wreckage of my past...
I will wait for her to join me, for however long that it may take...
For she is my only love; my life... She is my lover and my mate...

Amber are her wings of gold, that stretch to reach the brilliant sky...
She is my only thought of love, she is the word beauty brought to life...
"Angel, come and rescue me..." This is my solemn prayer...
Take me to your heart again, into your autumn air...I will be forever, here...

•

-BEHOLD-
By: Lance HaunRogue

Behold the better way, this choice that you have made...
Do you see that silver lining, shining? The promise for your trade...
How disappointing it is to stand here looking on, from atop this greener grass...
To see where I came from, that place back in the past, was already the answer, to these questions I ask...

I told you so... I hear it ringing in this empty room, adrift from wall to wall...
Like a word I shout in anger, left to linger till it drives me mad, by its endless bouncing all around...

So behold this better way, and yet another grand mistake...
Do you feel that you will find a time, when the right choices you have made?
How desperate it is to feel a love that slips away, without the means to make it stay...
To be in the shoes of all the fools, that you remember passing by and laughing at along the way...

There is nothing that is yours, but what you possibly have within your grasp...
Beyond what you own and what you hold, uncertainty is far from all that it may seem, when it is yours at last...
Before that step there lies the knowledge, and a blessing for consideration...
Thankful for your place, and an ounce of dignity for what you are, and not some false exaggeration...

And perhaps you'll find that only you, obtain this key to the happiness you hold...
And see the distance for what it truly is, another place to view a new horizon, when it is finally yours to now behold...

•

-RITUAL-
By: Lance HaunRogue

Do you see this for what it really is?
Are you honestly aware?
Can you tell me that this is something more,
than an escape to anywhere?
Oh, anywhere but here...

Do you know what it is I've run from?
Am I getting anywhere?
Can you tell the forest from these trees,
with that noose above this chair?
Oh, swinging in the air...

Drop from the limb, my body limp this one last time...
Drop with a crack, feel my neck snapping to the side...
Ritual, and yes I know of what they say, but let me swing...
Ritual, and yet I want no talk of judgment day, just let me swing...
Ritual, and yes I believe that I will pay, but let me swing...

No blood flow, I'm letting go...
Enjoy, the calm from all this noise...
As I swing... As I swing...
As I swing from side to side...

Do you tease me for what I never was?
Are you so sure that you can see?
Can you sell your line crap for something more,
than all the scars you've left on me?
Oh, just this one time please...

Do you know even why you hate me?
Are there some things that I have said?
Can you tell me what it is you think I've done,
to deserve all your punishment?
Oh, what's the difference...

Drop from the limb, my body limp, this one last time...
Drop with a crack, feel my neck snapping to the side...
Ritual, and yes I know of what they say, but let me swing...
Ritual, and yet I want no talk of judgment day, just let me swing...
Ritual, and yes I believe that I will pay, but let me swing...

No blood flow, I'm letting go...
Enjoy, the calm from all this noise...
As I swing... As I swing...
As I swing from side to side...
Let me swing, and let me die...

•

-EMBRACE-
By: Lance HaunRogue

She holds me like a child, clinging closer than a frightened bird...
And her breathing in my ear, it is the sweetest sound I've heard...
She truly gives herself away, to this sweet and tender touch...
And her intentions are so clear, an honesty that means so much...

She once scared me with this spell, fearing how much I longed to give...
And this was the bitter twist of fate, that I had feared to soon to live...
She offered more than I could take, and now I long to drink her in...
An embrace that begs surrender... Her seduction... A sensation to relive...

•

-TO YOU-
By: Lance HaunRogue

He lives a life I do not know... A world of change, perhaps he feels alone, and blue...
A place where rules they come and go... And the face to wear just hides what's shown, from view.
Because his world is sometimes rearranged... To the landscape he conforms...
As the scenery streaks on by outside... An endless journey to another norm.

Oh tell me how you feel inside, is it far away you have to hide?
Do you tell me what you think is right, just so I won't cry?
And do you even know the truth?
Or do you have to lie... To you?

Me too...

A little heart upon his sleeve... And again he leaves, with courage and a smile, so true...
With the hugs and kisses, I can see that this is, much longer than a "little while"... for you.
Because his world is sometimes rearranged... To the landscape he conforms...
As the scenery streaks on by outside... An endless journey to another norm.

Oh tell me how you feel inside, is it far away you have to hide?
Do you tell me what you think is right, just so I won't cry?
And do you even know the truth?
Or do you have to lie... To you?

Me too...

I wish that I could change what mistakes I've made...
I wish that selfishness had no price to pay...
I wish that I could know what your eyes see...
I wish that you didn't have to pay this lofty fee... For me.

Oh tell me how you feel inside, is it far away you have to hide?
Do you tell me what you think is right, just so I won't cry?
And do you even know the truth?
Or do you have to lie... To you?

Me too...

Oh my love... My only son...
Me too.

•

-WHISPER-
By: Lance HaunRogue

In a whisper… This is truth…
In a heartbeat… I lost youth…
Does anyone know me at all? No one there, to share the calm…
In this shelter from the fall, from within the safety of your palm.

In a moment… This is gone… In a single fleeting breath…
Then there is nothing wrong… And yet, there is nothing left…
And the touch of life that gives me hope, is that we may somehow meet again…
Beyond the fear of losing faith, there is such emptiness within…

It sometimes feels as though it is more than I can bear…
It sometimes seems that it makes no difference to care…
And "I love you" is what we long to hear, the warmest thoughts we’ve ever heard…
Yet, the joy of life has found my heart through so many different words…

Touch- Sight-
Music- Light-
Sunshine- Laughter-
Happily ever after…

There is not room enough, to feel enough, within a single beating heart…
We are cold at times, withdrawn and numb, just to give such senses warmth…
I plead with prayers to understand… I conquer fear at every turn…
I wake up frightened with the feeling I, will never really come to learn…

In a whisper… This is truth…
Upon a child’s lips… My forgotten youth…
Such a tender age… How can he know me at all?
Still he takes my hand and pulls me close… This is the shelter from the fall…
To whisper words of love, sweetly in my ear, from within the center of his palm.

"Here, I have a secret Daddy…"
You know it’s safe with me, I say…
"Guess what? I love you Daddy…"
And with that, he answers everything, that I could ever pray.

•

-REDEMPTION-
By: Lance HaunRogue

Redemption has no essence… It holds no allure for me anymore…
I feel no need to be redeemed…

I believe it nonsense to aspire to someone else’s opinion of my life;
my worthiness; my position; my acclaim; my result or attraction.

I feel that I have some internal hurdles to obtain…
Some test of my own aspirations, or rather a rise to the occasion to accomplish what I believe to be my own potential.

But all of these are tests of substance, and hold no cosmetic bearing for me at all.

I have begun to test my will…

I feel the desire to find purpose…

And although I have always adhered to integrity and pride,
I am now finding that very few people have the vaguest notion of what either of those attributes truly means…

So, then you are faced with the following dilemma, if others cannot recognize my efforts, then are those efforts made in vain?
But I believe I have already covered my new stance on what others think of me, so the point is moot.

I am myself.

I must please no one, but rather I should attempt for the first time in my life, a freedom from self-applied oppression,
in a pursuit of purity…

Not perfection, for there exists no such thing in this system of life…

But to become purely, who I truly am…

As Shakespeare once put it simply, and to which I can add nothing of any improvement…

"To thine own self be true…"
(Hamlet) - William Shakespeare